Something's Mything

God bless the inventor of puns. Who I suppose was God, so God bless. . .himself?

Whatever.

Speaking of God, with everything we “know” about mythical creatures, is it too much for the American Museum of Natural History to actually give us something for the money we pay? Even with my discount, it cost me ten dollars to see their Mythical Creatures exhibit.

Ten dollars. Say good-bye to Mr. Hamilton.

Ten dollars is a movie.
Ten dollars is a meal (albeit of the speedy nature).
Ten dollars is two beers.
Ten dollars is .0086957 of my rent (God bless New York City).

And what do you get for ten bucks (or however much those of you unfortunate enough to pay retail)? Perhaps twenty-five minutes of reading and maybe a little longer if you watch the videos. Some interesting displays and information about a variety of “animals” – from the well-known dragons, mermaids, and phoenixes (phoeni? Probably not, but I think it should be) to a bunch of culturally specific beasts that I had already forgotten the names of by the time I reached the subway to go home.

Ten dollars . . .

Perhaps what bothers me so much is what seemed to me like a lack of information. I may joke about the fact that all you get is a half-hour of reading, but in all actuality, I like reading, and I was in a museum. So don’t hold back the intellectualism, you know? Granted, there were space restrictions (at least, as far as the space they decided to utilize), but so many cultural aspects of the animals seemed left to the wayside. They tried, I’ll give them that (and aren’t I magnanimous to do so?), providing literary excerpts for most of the animals, ranging from Beowulf to Tolkien, Japanese folk-stories to Chinese medical texts. But it seems to me that it is exactly there that they dropped the ball. Because by calling the display “mythic,” they are admitting that these creatures are text-based beings – whether the text is written or oral. Therefore, give us stories.

The facts are cool, don’t get me wrong. The artifacts they had, for the most part, were fascinating. But by not playing up the story aspect, they missed an opportunity to hook people in. Considering the abundance of contemporary materials available they also could have had the kiddies clamorin’. Uh, can you say Harry Potter? Hell, half of the animals in that display kids will recognize from Harry Potter, and not only could you have tied those two things together, hell, you probably could have gotten some sponsorship out of Scholastic and Rowling, thus off-setting (or at least justifying) the cost. They did tie in some one of the animals to Pokemon which, as a game is still thriving, but c’mon – it’s not really the pinnacle of popular culture anymore.

-- And yes, it was the pinnacle of culture seven or eight years ago: “I choose you, Pikachu!” I could tell a really embarrassing story about going to see Pokemon: The First Movie in the theatre while in college, but I promised my friend that I wouldn’t anymore. I will say this, though: they showed a short at the beginning of the movie called (I think) Pikachu’s Vacation, and it was quite possibly the least masculine thing I’ve ever participated in. For any of you not familiar with the cartoon, all the animals talk by using the syllables of their names in a variety of forms. So, for instance, that yellow cat-thing with the lightning tail is Pikachu, and he (she? Who knows) would say things like: “Pika pika. Pika chooooo,” all in an adorably vomit-inducing voice. Well, Pikachu’s Vacation is entirely made up of different Pokemon talking to each other in what must be the Fire Island for enslaved battle-animals, and well . . . cringing and giggling. But mostly cringing –

And that’s what we call a tangent, foo's. Brush your teeth!

What I’m saying, though, is that people like to be able to connect with what they’re learning. This is basic educational theory. Yes, many of us are familiar with the giant squid (kraken) from 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea (which, for those of you not aware, is not about the depth the submarine reaches (which would be pretty impossible, considering a league is 2 miles, and I think the deepest part of any ocean, the Mariana’s Trench, is at most 6 or 7 miles deep), but the distance they travel under water. Just a little trivia). But aren’t a lot more of us familiar with the giant squid in the lake at Hogwarts?

Moreover, aren’t children?

Because that’s what’s really important to remember: this museum, for all its intents and purposes, is a place of wonder for children. And you can get away with a ton of info with the dinosaurs because children are simply in awe of the size. Moreover, they are in awe of the power they have over these giants of the past: First, they are still alive. Second, they not only tend to know more about the dinosaurs than their parents, that knowledge helps reduce those “terrible lizards” to something controllable. As a kid, that’s such an amazing feeling. Now imagine if they were able to do that with the monsters of their dreams?

That’s one of the reasons books like Harry Potter are so popular: because it shows kids like them, kids who grew up without magic, suddenly with power to do amazing things. To battle and handle monsters and overcome fear.

And with the last book coming out, think of the marketing . . .

I’m just saying that I went in expecting more, and felt a little gypped (a pretty ugly/racist word, now that I see it typed on my screen. I guess gypsies don’t really have a lot of say at political correctness conferences).

Part of my disappointment was that I just read a very good book called The Bestiary by Nicholas Christopher. It’s a story about a boy who grows up in a broken family and finds comfort in the stories his grandmother tells about animals and their spirits. It eventually becomes life-consuming, as he searches for the “Caravan Bestiary,” which is supposed to be the book of all the animals Noah didn’t take on the ark.

How dope is that?

What makes the book so good is that the story plays with the magical so that although you get a feeling of fantasy, Christopher is a good enough writer that he is able to blur the edges of reality without completely jettisoning it. In a way, it reminds me of Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norell in this regard (if you haven’t read that, do yourself a favor and read it. Not only did it win the Nebula and Hugo Awards for the best science fiction novel, but it’s simply one of the better books written in the past few years). Throughout the book, Christopher provides passages from the narrators’ own bestiary, and you get introduced to a lot of creatures not as common to the popular consciousness.

Unfortunately, this book isn’t actually available yet, but it comes out in a few weeks, and I definitely recommend you check it out. Even if the idea of the bestiary doesn’t capture your imagination, the writing will definitely draw you in, such as the relationships between the narrator and his mysterious father. I will say the romance is a bit trite (nothing new there), but even that works well with the rest of the story. I have a feeling this book is going to be one of those “summer reads” that just blows up.

You heard it hear first.

All six of you.